Shadow Work: What It Is and How to Stop It from Running Your Life

You know that nagging voice in your head? The one that spirals, self-sabotages, or suddenly reacts way too strongly to something minor? That could be your shadow self talking. Shadow work—a practice rooted in psychology—is all about getting to know those hidden parts of yourself, so they stop secretly pulling the strings. At Dandy, we’ve been diving into the world of shadow work to understand what it is, how it shows up, and how to start doing the work (without it feeling like… work).

By Dandy / Apr 04 2025

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You know that weird little voice in your head that gets weirdly competitive with your best friend, says “yes” when it means “no”, or spirals into full self-sabotage mode before a big presentation? That’s not just your anxiety talking. That’s your shadow — and it’s got some stuff to work through.

Welcome to shadow work: the slightly spooky-sounding but actually life-changing self-development tool that’s quietly having a moment on TikTok, in therapy rooms, and even in your favourite wellness podcasts.

What Is Shadow Work?

Shadow work is the practice of uncovering the parts of yourself you’ve unconsciously pushed away — usually because they felt "unacceptable", "too much", or didn’t quite fit your polished, public self.

These parts make up what psychologist Carl Jung called the shadow self. Think jealousy, insecurity, neediness, pride, control issues, or literally anything you've ever said, “That’s not me” about. Spoiler alert: it probably is.

Rather than trying to banish these traits, shadow work is all about integrating them — so they stop secretly running the show.

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How to Start Doing Shadow Work (Without Spiralling)

Get Curious, Not Judgy

When something triggers you, pause and ask: “What part of me is feeling threatened right now?” Often, it’s something you’ve tried to suppress — and it just wants to be acknowledged.

Journal It Out

Try prompts like:

“The part of me I try to hide is...”
“I feel ashamed when...”
“I’m scared people will find out that I...”
No, it’s not comfy. But it is clarifying.

Notice Your Projections

If someone really winds you up, ask yourself if they’re reflecting a trait you haven’t accepted in yourself. It’s not always the case — but when it is, whew.

Talk to Your Shadow Self

Sounds wild, but giving your shadow a voice in your journaling or inner dialogue can help you realise it’s not scary. It’s just a part of you that needs compassion.

Get Support If You Need It

Shadow work can stir up old wounds. Working with a therapist, coach, or trusted guide can help you move through it without getting lost in the emotional sauce.

Shadow Work Is Not a Vibe-Killer

Contrary to what it sounds like, shadow work isn’t all doom, gloom and dredging up childhood trauma on a Tuesday. It’s actually a powerful way to get free — from shame, fear, and the need to always be the "good version" of yourself.

It’s not about fixing who you are. It’s about finding the parts you forgot, reclaiming them, and living more fully as you.

Dandy Takeaway: You’re Not Broken. You’re Just Human.

Shadow work reminds us that the parts we’ve hidden away aren’t bad — they’re just misunderstood. By bringing them into the light, you stop being haunted by your own patterns and start living more honestly, more freely, and with way less emotional whiplash.

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be present — with all your parts.