From Performance to Presence
We live in a world that celebrates confidence as a performance: polished exteriors, articulate opinions, unwavering certainty. But Roxie’s approach is more human—and more sustainable.
“True confidence comes from within—not from how you look or what you do.”
It’s not about collecting accolades, approval or external markers of success. It’s about tuning into the internal markers: your kindness, creativity, resilience, thoughtfulness. The traits that don’t always get applause—but quietly shape how you show up in the world.
When you begin to value yourself for who you are rather than what you achieve, the confidence you build becomes unshakeable. It’s no longer tied to how productive you’ve been, how many people replied to your story, or whether today felt like a ‘main character’ day.
It’s yours. Independent of performance.
The Inner Critic: Challenge, Don’t Obey
Of course, building confidence doesn’t mean eliminating self-doubt entirely. “We all have an inner critic,” Roxie says, “but we don’t have to accept what it says.”
“Ask yourself: ‘Is this thought true? Is it helpful?’”
This is a tool she shares in Step 1: Master Your Thoughts. When that voice creeps in—You’re not good enough. You’re going to mess this up. You’re not ready—your job isn’t to argue with it endlessly. It’s to pause. Observe. And ask whether this thought is moving you forward, or keeping you stuck in a place you’ve outgrown.
Confidence isn’t about having no doubts. It’s about having new conversations with them.
Comparison: The Confidence Killer We’re All Guilty Of
You could be having a good day, then see someone’s announcement, holiday, promotion—or perfectly unbothered face—and suddenly you’re questioning your entire existence. Sound familiar?
In Step 4: Break Free from Comparison, Roxie explains why this spiral happens—and how to interrupt it.
“Comparison keeps us in a feeling of lack and scarcity. And we tend to compare ourselves most where we already feel insecure.”
In other words: it’s not you. It’s your tender spot. The goal isn’t to banish comparison completely (we’re human), but to catch yourself before it takes root. “Shift your focus to what you do have,” she says. “Practice gratitude. Celebrate your wins. Reflect on your own growth.”
Someone else’s path isn’t stealing your light. It just means there’s more than one way to shine.
